NOTE: This is based on an in-joke from the #fluffy channel on irc.synirc.net. If you’re not familiar with the users TheJD, Sanya-nya, dango and Phlebas from there this post will probably make even less sense than intended. And no, this game does not actually exist.

Sanya no Tsukaima (“Sanya’s Familiar”) is the latest Visual Novel from Nitro+, a company famous for their completely messed-up storylines (as in, morally wrong, mindshrew-y or just plain incomprehensible until the third playthrough), Bad Ends that are extremely bad and Good Ends that are often not much better than the bad ones or just plain incomprehensible (see: Mindshrew).

However, Sanya no Tsukaima is an exception from much of what is generally associated with Nitro+. It’s storyline is of a kind you generally expect of a Key novel, and is surprisingly light-hearted – at least until you hit one of the bad ends, which are very much Nitro+-style.

The game begins with the main character, known simply as JD, infiltrates an organization known as IRC, and for some strange reason ends up as the familiar of a girl named Sanya. Even though JD is the main character – it even says so in the manual, and is repeatedly pointed out by other characters -, he keeps insisting he’s just a side-character. This creates a wonderful constrast to the main heroine Sanya’s fiery personality and tendency to set things on fire for no real reason.

The game has 4 routes: Sanya, Phlebas, dango and Sir Apple. Playing through all these four routes unlocks the final route: “Sanya no Tsukaima: On Fire” where JD is not only the main character but also the main heroine. This may make no sense to you know, but once you start playing it starts making… even less sense. As expected of Nitro+.

I mentioned the Nitro+ style Bad Ends before. There are several of these scattered throughout the story, generally at completely random places. All of them don’t just make no sense, they make N+ sense which means they make even less than no sense. For instance, there is one bad end that involve several characters transforming into a mecha made out of faces for seemingly no reason, one where the main characters gets drunk on dialogue and falls off a roof which definitely wasn’t there before he fell off it, and the semi-canon end which involves at least ten JD at the same time which all may or may not be penguins.

The game has been released online by the makers, and there is of course an english translation patch from Team Fluffy available for those of you not fluent in Japanese.